26th Mar, 2010. 1:28pm

I have sort of neglected this blog, i apologise. i contribute more to my tumblr nowadays (pawk.tumblr.com).
I've decided I'll make my blogspot much more important than mentioned above, so I'll occasionally add to this rather than daily contribute to my other. Stick with me though, I'm not going too far.

17th Mar, 2010. 10:53

sometimes, I wish I was a hopeless romantic. I like to read novels with relationships in them because that's as romantic as I get (and that's not even romantic on my behalf). I don't think I'm going to have what characters in a book have, how pessimistic.
sometimes, I wish I wasn't so afraid to be lovingly intimate with a person.
I can't even properly imagine myself doing something romantic for somebody. It's like Ive deprived myself the feeling of being in love with somebody because of doubt and clouded perceptions. do I do this on purpose, or is it just who I am ?
is it a few trust issues ?
Is it because I've been broken those few times, enough to not ever to be truly happy and in love with somebody again ?


I know I'm 18 and have the world ahead of me, but this is a human thing. everyone wants to be loved, I just selfishly don't believe I have it in me to love and be in love with.


thing is, it's the hopeless romantics that don't die lonely...