17th Mar, 2010. 10:53

sometimes, I wish I was a hopeless romantic. I like to read novels with relationships in them because that's as romantic as I get (and that's not even romantic on my behalf). I don't think I'm going to have what characters in a book have, how pessimistic.
sometimes, I wish I wasn't so afraid to be lovingly intimate with a person.
I can't even properly imagine myself doing something romantic for somebody. It's like Ive deprived myself the feeling of being in love with somebody because of doubt and clouded perceptions. do I do this on purpose, or is it just who I am ?
is it a few trust issues ?
Is it because I've been broken those few times, enough to not ever to be truly happy and in love with somebody again ?


I know I'm 18 and have the world ahead of me, but this is a human thing. everyone wants to be loved, I just selfishly don't believe I have it in me to love and be in love with.


thing is, it's the hopeless romantics that don't die lonely...